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HEADLINES » US Headlines » UK Headlines » World News » Entertainment » Science & Tech » Sport » Business Don't forget - we're always looking for new writers at TheSpoof. If you're interested in getting your funny stories published, please visit us.		Today's Email Headlines 21 October 2010     Royal Navy Cuts: Nelson Spinning In His Grave Latest defence cuts, which will see the end of Roal Navy flagship HMS Ark Royal, have been greeted with horror by a top naval expert. While the cuts will allow two new aircraft carriers to be built, neither will have any jet aircraft taking off fr... Full story »     Wayne Rooney Signs New Contract In one of the biggest about-turns in recent footballing memory, Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has today signed a new three-year contract agreement. Rooney, 24, went with his wife Coleen to his local branch of Currys and purcha... Full story »   Lindsay Lohan Converts to Islam to Beat Alcohol and Cocaine Addictions People think that fame and fortune are the road to eternal happiness; this is the American Dream fostered by American Idol. Yesterday Michael Douglas ... Full story »   UK scupper the Ark Royal and reincarnate Dads Army! Cuts, cuts and more cuts have forced the "Dynamic Duo" into making many radical budget decisions and one of the worst hit areas is the military. David Cameron announc... Full story »   » Queen in shock as cops smash Palace's £113 million lotto winner kidnap plot » HMS Ark Royal a gift for the WAG who has everything » Osama bin Laden found in local man's shed » Trouble! Kevin Jonas & Wife Overheard Quarreling! He Walks Out!
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